I Believe

One Last Complaint.

I need to write this or I won't find sleep over it again.

One needs a disappointment to realize and understand the true meaning and wonders of life when things work out. We need what's bitter to understand the sweet. We need the ugly to see beauty in the world. I needed a broken heart years ago to understand how precious and unique that love was. I needed to hurt someone to realize what I had to do to avoid such a situation again. Every action has a reaction, every person you meet brings something unexpected into one's existence. It has to be meant this way, to make it balanced.

As for you, you probably came to show me what I was doing wrong and the experience of knowing you will help me grow into a better and hopefully a person. It has to be that, otherwise I really don't understand what you came to do into this life of mine. Certainly, you didn't just show up in the hope of hurting me for sheer pleasure. The purpose should have been bigger. If I am wrong, it means that humans are really evil at core, but I don't want to believe it.

I choose to believe there was a purpose behind your actions: I needed a friend like you to realize many things. The most important of these things being that, if I blindly open my arms, keeping my guard down, it's very occasionally a hug, and most of the time a very bitter and painful punch in the stomach that I am gonna get. It's not that I didn't know before, but you have taught me that it is in vain that I desperately try to see people as better than they truly are. "What you see is what you get"? Possibly. I tried to convince myself that you were so much more than what I or other people saw, but in the end it's all that you are and all that you were meant to represent to me.

Thanks for teaching me that this naive character of mine cannot survive in this world and must therefore grow into something stronger. Thanks for showing me that everything that goes up goes down, that everything that has a sweet taste has a bitter counterpart. Thanks for showing me the best and the worst parts of myself, for showing me all those emotions I was keeping within. Thanks for allowing me to appreciate the people by my side so much more.

Some people are meant to impact one's life in some way. And you're one of them in my life. I'll still be thinking of you years from now. And just like now, I'll be as grateful as possible.

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