I Believe

In the end

I had a few emotional days, but I think my pride and heart don't deserve so much trouble.
Thanks to a few older people who have been taking good care of me and telling me about life, I was about to realize that it actually comes back to this:
Why do we stick by people who end up hurting us more than they do any good to us?

I have no more time to waste on those. Maybe that mindset on that other night was the truth coming out, the exhausted, breathless, needs to come out truth. And my reaction to all this, my guilt and pain just came from the fact that I refused to admit it to myself. You always want to believe that the people you chose to surround you are good people and that they'll stick by you and care for you... or even if they don't give you anything back, they'll at least give you the respect you deserve. But not everyone is like that, and not everyone can be one of your people. So is it sad to lose them? No. You don't lose something you never had. Period. If they never tried to so much as respect and trust you and if they haven't even tried to understand you, then they were never "your people" to begin with.
And when they use your weaknesses against you and turn you into a low person who can do the same, then there really is nothing left that is worth it.

This time it's true, I am done wasting time on this. There are so many more things and people I should be focusing one, ones that do actually deserve my attention. There, I said it. This wasn't meant to be in the first place. I tried to hold on for a long as I could, but now I am letting you go.You are now part of the 75%. You know, the bunch who isn't worth even acknowledging....

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