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"I did it but..."

I'm not gonna complain, I got an A in Japanese.
I wanted to get it by my own means, and I sort of did... but there's a slight disappointment that comes out of all this...
I scored an A on the final exam... but a low A. Given that according to my calculations, I needed a high A, or a 90 in the exam to get an A overall in the course. Of course, seeing the A on my transcript, I assumed I did awesome on the exam. For the most part I did, (even if I screwed up the summary) but I didn't score 90. I scored 87. Which is fine, really. Not complaining...

But then how did I get an A? I asked. Sensei said she gave one extra point to all the Japanese speech contestants for their overall mark. End of the question, in theory... But then I was looking and looking, calculating over and over and it just didn't add up. Even if she gives me a whole extra point, I get 84. Which is an A minus.
So I looked up to her and fearing to show the confusion in my eyes, I asked... "Why did you..."... I just didn't want her to favour me. I just didn't want her to become like that other prof I don't like much, one who gives marks on the face. I was so scared of her answer too.
She's just not someone who would do it like that...

Then she said: "I always give an A" to all students who score 84. I mean, it's painful if they miss it by just one point, isn't it?

I am not unhappy that she gave it to me... And of course I am grateful.
But what's this strange feeling? I guess I'm just a little bit sad I didn't score it by myself.
Keumerz @ 4:26 PM<


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