First Practice of the Speech
I did my speech in front of the Japanese class today. Needed to practice and it was good that I did. I spoke way too fast, was shaking... but at least I remembered every single word... and my nerves didn't let me down this time.
It's kind of funny how I can act so cocky and confident in general but I am terrified to be in front of people, even (or maybe especially) those that I know? Maybe I am scared of letting them know about this weaker part of mine... Anyways, I felt grateful that none of the students in the class did so much as moving while I was speaking it out and I felt even more grateful that they encouraged me after it was over. It's funny how small gestures can mean so much. Half of them told me they'd come watch the contest too and I felt happy to know I'll be supported. We don't know each other that well and I did somewhat look down on their work ethics at the beginning of the class, but they really have a good heart and I am thankful I got to know that before the year was over.
After the practice, I went to Uesaka sensei's office for some feedback, some more coaching and one more practice. Funny thing, the one thing she corrected me about was my pronunciation of words that originally come from English. "Identity" as "Aidentiti-", "Percent" as "pa-sento", "Asia" as "a/ji/a". Then she fixed some tone problems and she said "it's okay to forget all those details once you do the speech contest, be natural. It's a great speech, so be confident." I want to remember only those words today and the next day, every moment until the contest.
I can't even remember why I wanted to participate to that contest in the first place. Maybe something nice to put on my resume? or the need to prove myself I can do well in Japanese? or the desire to vainquish that public speech fear of mine?... Something like that? I feel like now the main goal changed. I just want to do well. Well enough so that people will wonder, "who was that kid's teacher?" and then people will reply "Uesaka M."
And then this 15 seconds of glory that I get (if I get them), they'll go to her, too.
A small way to thank someone who made this year academically so much more interesting and rewarding.
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