Opera, oh opera.
I probably said this before, but I have tickets for the complete season of the Opera in HD which is broadcasted in the movie theaters everywhere in the world. Today my brother's friend had to work so he couldn't make it... and for the first time, I found myself watching opera alone at the movie theater.
I didn't know what to expect. It was my first time to watch Der Rosenkavalier, an opera composed by Strauss. Sang all in German. Language wise, I thought I'd be rather turned off, because previous Mozart operas, despite amazing music, often were able to bother me by the horrible sound of the language itself. Oh yeah, I'm sorry for my German friends, but you guys speak a pretty ugly language. Coarse and rough to the ears... Or maybe is it just the fact that most of the operas I've watched were in Italian, which has such a softer sound?... Anyways.
I was aware that the main female role was to be performed by Renee Fleming, who is an amazing singer... but rather a pretentious human being. Her vanity has no equal but her prestance on stage. I guess she deserves to be proud of herself... Her acting is quite impressive, her voice is beautiful, she is also physically beautiful. I think in the world right now, she might be the most impressive. (Well I always keep for myself that my favorite soprano is Anna Netrebko, but I gotta admit her senior Fleming deserves praise).
I went through a number of emotions while watching Der Rosenkavalier... I was trembling when I heard the music at the beginning, it was so beautiful. Then I laughed, because it's quite a comical story. And I cried at the final scene, when the main woman sends her lover away to someone else, wishing only for his happiness... The final aria was so touching... The music and the interpretation were so beautiful, I couldn't hold back a few tears. I wished I could properly explain. I must sound like I've gone crazy, but they were very, very positive emotions overall.
These days, it feels like nothing else should exist. It's only when I watch opera that I can empty my mind of all those useless thoughts and angry emotions. I go to class, I meet people, I attend all those good bye dinners and birthdays and family events. I do my homework, I study... And then, the one favorite moment of my day: Just lying down listening to opera... I still can't sleep, but it feels like I'm regenerating myself anyway. I noticed I woke up in a better mood too. As if, the music was cleansing my soul of every negative aspects? It's like I found a material version of "my prof". lol... Honestly, this week I feel like I saw so many people I had to see and I feel like I saw noone at the same time. As if I am completely empty when I meet all those people who are actually so dear (or supposed to be) to my heart. I created myself a new type of isolation, but a good one. Well, it might look selfish to most, but I am feeling better thanks to that. It just feels like suddenly I rose above everything...
I'm not sure what fight I wanted to undergo when I thought I'd face Montreal once and for all to get rid of all those thoughts. But the more I fight it, the more I dislike it. Day by day, when I think "I'll do nothing but face my fear and my anguish" and I end up accumulating more thoughts and disliking the place even more bits by bits. No, I don't want to leave Montreal with a completely bitter and negative feeling.... So I decided to just let it be and find something that can make me rise above all that mess and appreciate life in a different way. This is my way, I suppose. Just filling my head with never ending classical music, with never ending trembling from overwhelming positive emotions.
Anyways now that I'm done with the Emo speech, I'm gonna start planning things for NY. We are officially going to watch Simon Boccanegra (by Verdi with Placido Domingo and Marcello Giordani) in NY at the end of the month. And knowing Andrea, the plan of going to the Met Museum will also hold. There's nothing else I wanna do in NY anyways. Except maybe eating tons of Korean food.. haha. I am actually looking forward to seeing F*and travelling with the 3 guys. 4 guys in tux just for me at the opera, I guess I should feel privileged? lol
I'm going back to work tomorrow. So far the coming week is looking like this:
Long school day with 2 Tests on Monday. (+ Appointment with my advisor to know if I can retake my exam. )
Work, work, work on Tuesday. + Dinner with my Aunt?
Busy school day on Wednesday...
Hockey Game on Thursday.
Birthday party of my XG* on Friday.
Opera -Carmen in HD on Saturday.
Work on Sunday.
I have one italian book to read through. Major catching up in Italian vocab and conversation (thank god for my newly found Language Exchange partner). Two presentations coming up. One Korean translation project to start. Japanese Kanji to restudy + new chapters to prepare so that Uesaka sensei stops thinking I am a retard in class (and I happened to find another language exchange partner for that too). What else. Oh yeah. I think I'm gonna get ahead in German by doing every single exercise that are due by the end of the year so that I never even have to think about it again.
They were right. Time on your own to get things done and to do the things you want is not so bad. The rest of the world will keep turning around whether I stop to look at it or not. Just keep your eyes on what you really want. The rest will follow. And if it doesn't, then... whatever, right?
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