I Believe

Back on Track

as they say. After a week of depression, a week-end of sickness (and yesterday being especially bad, I had to stay in bed all day, sniff sniff)... I feel now ready to get back on track for good. Well, there are million things I can't understand still about human relationships and there are definitely days when I'll tell the rest of the world to just stay away from me, but I also think there are some really good moments that make it all worthwhile.

No, I never quite learn my lesson, and yes, it is always back down to those few good moments. I can complain all I want and I will probably keep complaining forever, just because I feel only a few people have the same vision of the world/ human interaction as I do... But anyways. One moment of joy is, I believe, worth a 100 moments of anger/frustration/sadness.

Just a few examples?
1) A thoughtful senpai who msn-ed me in the middle of the night and made me watch this HILARIOUS video. It made me laugh again this very morning and will probably make me laugh tomorrow as well.

2) A 40 minute phone call from my beloved prof in Korea as she was going home and a hilarious conversation about Canadian products being mostly "made in China". It's random, but yeah, I had a good laugh. 이 언니만큼 행복하게 해주는 사람은... 없을것이다. 이해하기 힘들지만...

3) Thoughtful text messages/calls/emails from family and friends wondering if my cold was getting better and worrying about whether I was eating properly.

Other than that....
I decided not to apply to McGill, nor to UdM for a Master's. Not because they are not awesome universities, but rather because I don't see any program that would be of interest for me. Right now I am so focused on France and that Institute, that if I get disappointed and refused, I don't think I can earnestly focus on any other program in any other university. Not for next year anyway. I will really do everything in my power to finish my degree and be accepted at that school but if I'm not meant to be accepted there.... Then I refuse to use Montreal as a back up and suffer through 2 years of more schooling that doesn't really motivate me. I never really liked school anyways and that French institute is the first place that I chose and really told myself "Yes this is what I want do do, I wanna study there". So if it's not meant to work out, too bad, but I cannot stay here after wanting to go away so badly.

So what are you going to do if it doesn't work out? my Mom asked. I'm gonna stay in Montreal for a few months to save up some money. Then I am going back to Korea for a year. English Teaching programs are not rare and it's not very hard to get, as long as you come from a country like Canada and have a somewhat decent personality (which I like to believe I have). Why not Japan? Many reasons. Money, for one. Then, the JET application deadline that's already past. Also the recent realization that if I want to make my focus of EAS on Korea, then I should live there a little longer, and use that opportunity to find a subject of thesis before I enter Grad School.

Meh, who knows, once that ECON exam is done with... I feel like I can succeed everything.

0 Comments: