Social Spheres.
Someone once told me that a person needed different social spheres to always feel renewed and excitement. Plus apparently, if it crashes on one side, you can flee to some other side. I used to just mix all my spheres... I thought it made my "choice" easier when I'd wanna spend the evening with someone. I could just call anyone together and I'd know they'd get along.
This year I'm doing things differently though. Well there are always some people who blend in better than others, so I can still bring them in my different social spheres, but I do try to keep a clear cut limit between each. Funny thing this year, it almost feels as if it's seperated among cultural groups... Chinese, Japanese, Korean... then the international ones.
I still feel like my personality adapts to each of these groups though. Not that I am pretending to be someone different, but I think the different facetes of my personality come out according to the person I am seeing.
Yesterday I was playing pool with my Chinese friends and not only was I loud and crazy, I was talking about drinking and staying up with them the next day. And part of me really wants to. Drinking and partying and thinking there is no tomorrow. The kind of... loud and overconfident part. No studying, only fun. I feel comfortable with this part of mine, though I've come to control it pretty well.
Yet there's a very self conscious me hidden somewhere that comes out once in a while and prevents me from letting the crazy part take over... The quiet me, always in need of someone's reassurance and voice when I'm hesitating to do something. That part comes out with some very very close people or people that I feel I can look up to... Sometimes it unwillingly comes out too... No fun, only studying and work. It's the part that keeps me on track of a life with a future. lol. A little too emotional. Too many thoughts, too many feelings. I heard it's normal to have one of those deep inside, but I need to control it more too.
And there's just a more moderate one. One that can just go along with anything, and not be bothered... Emotionally a bit restricted, but not too much. The one that combines work, studying and fun in a pretty balanced way... I think that's the one most people know me under and that's my general cover, when I don't want people to see my bipolar personality...
And I haven't even started talking about how my cultural attitude change with the people I see. I seriously have a French, a Canadian, a Korean side that are clearly cut to a point that people from the three places really feel the cultural connection... And add to that a bit of a Spanish spice and a somewhat clear understanding of the Japanese culture................ That's a crazy weird mix but it's me... :S
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