It's funny how a little disappointment into someone can turn your feelings off...
Well, not totally, but partially... and enough to make you wonder if what you ever saw in them was worth it all?... Hmm. I'm sure I caused such disappointments in other people as well... but it's never a good feeling. Whether you're the disappointed or the disappointing one.
Anyways, in some other cases, disappointments can lead to a later catch up which proves to turn out better and develops a much stronger bond... I can think of a few clear examples in my head... Is this time's disappointment gonna lead to something stronger or is it going to just disintegrate what I thought we had? Well, if it wasn't meant to be, it just wasn't. But I kinda wished it was.
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Anyways. "Tutto e follia nel mondo cio che non e piacer"... (Everything in this world is nonsense, except for pleasure.) as Netrebko says in La Traviata (Verdi). Man, I just wanna enjoy and stop thinking about things...
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That kid is coming back this week... I don't know if I want to see her or not. If I don't, then maybe I'll start questioning my values of friendship and what I ever saw in her that was special...
But maybe if I do, I'll get ticked off again and I'll regret it... I don't know what I think of her anymore. It's like a big blank in my head. Sometimes I really value the time together, sometimes I just get annoyed thinking about it... I used to think she was the greatest kid in the world, now I wonder what I ever liked... Come to think of it, maybe some things are better left untouched. Maybe the closure is already done and I just haven't realized it yet.
Yeah, maybe it's better not to reopen anything that was closed a while ago. With style.
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