I Believe

Mess of thoughts.

I'm just gonna write everything that goes through my mind, since it appears that the fact that I think so much about so many things at once is my curse. Or maybe my "disease" as they say.
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"Lagrima" (Tear) by Tarrega.
I went to Archambault today and bought the music sheet for it. I chose this piece thinking it was the easiest thing to decipher, but actually, there are quite a few twists and tricks to it. Anyways. I like it. It's a nostalgic piece. To think that Tarrega came up with such a beautiful melody...

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No news. Maybe I confessed things in a way that just messed things up. Maybe I should've shut up. But I thought I'd feel better once she knew how I felt. Well I don't feel much better and what I said came out horribly wrong and dramatic... but I guess there's one weight off my back? And at the same time, the terrible thought of losing that person over something so ridiculous as my constant lack of confidence in myself in terms of interpersonal relationships is just painful.
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I try to understand myself but I don't. I'm just so busy that I don't have to think of others and what I feel about them. It's like my head is saturated with everything and I can't seem to focus.
Two years ago, I would've not given a shit about my studies and my work and would've focused on people and people only... I think those days are over. I've become self centered (not in a selfish way, but rather in a way that I realize that focusing on oneself is important too) and much more diligent than I ever used to be. Good changes. Less stress despite the increased amount of work. Happier with this life.

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I think the past is becoming clearer now. I always tell people they ought to stop focusing so much on past and future when they could be living it Carpe Diem all the way... but actually I do dwell a lot on the past. I get obsessive about what happened in a certain situation and how my actions then affected the person I have become now. I realize now that so many things left apparently without an answer actually found its answer in a different context that I hadn't imagined well.

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The Princess Bride is such an awesome movie. Okay, put it back in an 1989 context.. but that movie is a jewel. Subtle, funny... The main actor is just so great too. Cary Elwes.. lol A winner.
And what can we say about that amazing "Inigo Montoya" scene??? lol
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die! (Spanish accent). "
Hilarious. The battle of wits is also quite something... and omg the fire marsh scene? Priceless...
Anyways...
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Why is McGill starting one week earlier than it usually would? That's just so ridiculous. Usually we don't get a reading week in October, but we start one week late to make up for it. However, this year, we still don't get the reading week... and we start early??? Dumb Dumb Dumb administration of McGill. Like, seriously..
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