After 4 days of dreadful sleep. (like 5 hours in 3 days and then 3 hours on the 4th night)...
I finally crashed. And slept like 12 hours. Ridiculous. But it felt so good. Well it certainly raises the average of my loast 5 days. 4 hours a day sounds better than one and a half.
Everything seemed so beautiful when I was sleeping. I wasn't here, I was where I wanted to be and everything seemed so real. The only thing that made me sad was that I couldn't feel anything physically. No touch, no warmth. But for some reason my heart was contended with just being there.
If I close my eyes now, I can see myself slowly walking the Kyunghee University main path, walking up that dreadful hill, I can see them whom I've wanted to see. I can hear their laughter. Sad thing is they can't actually see me, I'd be just a shadow. Or even if they could, then it's only my imagination... The words "I miss you" seems to have lost all meaning cuz I say it so often... but that's how I feel...
Yet slowly...I'm starting to put some sense into myself. I'm starting to see some good stuff...
I'm starting to realize that mourning the way I'm doing it is not leading to anything good. It's not gonna take me to Korea, it's not gonna make things better, it's only gonna make them worry about me. I have to get out of it. Now.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home