I don't know why I am writing on this blog after so many months or if anyone is even still reading it. I re read some of my old entries and I gotta say one thing. Wow. What a pathetic kid, what a self-centered and unstoppable whiner I was. Maybe I still am, deep inside... but in the last year I've learnt to get over things a bit more easily, I learnt to "suck it up" in other words. I learnt to let the world go before my emotions and focused on the more positive aspects of my life. Of course, I still feel many of the things that I felt back then when it comes to human relationships. It would be a lie to deny everything that I said or thought back then. But if anything, I am now able to deal with myself better. I am more confident in myself, in my ability to keep people by my side.. and I am now able to let people go, which is something I wasn't able to do back then. I am able now to say "Oh well, it cannot be helped"... which is something I refused to do back then. I am able to move on, I am able to spend time alone and to enjoy it. There are so many tiring people and things in this world... I think now I am able to move past them. I will never fully be detached... but if anything, I feel I am stronger now than I was. And now I can enjoy people's presence more because I don't need them. I just learnt to like them for who and what they are and not just for what their presence brought into my life. I think I live a much less selfish existence and it's better this way. I like myself more now.
