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From that moment

There's always different moments that determine changes in one's life and in one's relationship to someone else. From the moment you meet someone you have a first impression. From the moment they do something that impression changes. And so on and so on. Until there's no place left for interpretation and there's the establishment of something concrete....

I just tend to burn so many steps because I am too intense. I wanna give too much, I wanna receive too much. Well, I've never thought of what I want as being too much but it seems it is. Because from the moment I start waiting for this one thing for which I am willing to give the whole world to in exchange, the people I care about just start walking away. Not all of them, of course, but even few of them is enough to make me requestion my whole existence and the way I've led it.

What is it that I want? Just this basic trust. This trust that when I fall down, you'll be down there catching me at the very last moment. This trust that when you fall down, you'll try to use me as a trampoline. This trust that links us and that reminds us that we are there for each other. That's what I ask now, that's what I'll ask later. That's also what I wanna give you, with everything else you'll ask me on top of that. Because God knows that when I love and care about someone, they could ask me the sky and I'll find the best way to give it to them. I'll let them step on me and on my heart with all their might if they wish to... as long as they come back to me in the end and remind me that this basic trust and care that we share is still intact. Well, that's how I wanna do it... but then... my heart has its limit too. There's so much stepping on one can endure, and I believe a little self respect is in order. Don't you?

No, I've never thought what I was asking for was too much. Until now.
You cannot expect anything from anyone. From the moment you do, you only get disappointed, hurt, stepped on over and over. Not because people are evil, just because you were foolish enough to open yourself in such a way. Innocence doesn't have its place in our world. Hurt them before you get hurt, that's all there is.

You're the only one that I literally gave everything to (literally from my heart to my wallet) and that hasn't run away from this side of mine. But for how long?
Keumerz @ 11:20 AM< [[ 0 comments ]]


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