Sunday, November 29, 2009
I saw JG oppa yesterday... kinda spontaneously. He called, we met 15 minutes later, we had dinner. Then we had drinks together for the first time in over a year or so... It was very nice to see him and he called up his buddies who seemed to like and mix pretty well with my friends. The group kinda split in two because we were 15 people... And everyone on the right side of the table ended up getting drunk... Everyone, except me. I guess it was the guilt of having to study, or just the fact I had gone out the night before and wasn't feeling so well. Maybe it was the conscious thought that except for him that I know so well, I didn't trust his horny friends who seemed to be desperate to get into someone's pants by the end of the evening. Not that he would have let anything happen to me, but meh.. figured I should take care of myself first... especially since I was working the following day (today).
I think part of me was worried that oppa would think I've become so boring compared to before, but I hope and I think that at least he was happy to see me. He's a pretty easy going guy so he wouldn't have put me in a complicated situation.
Well now that I think of it, he reminded me of that story that happened in Korea when we both were there then... We spent the summer drinking and hanging out to awesome restaurants with a bunch of other friends... but there was one time that especially marked us and we remember cuz it was so damn painful. Back then, him, Dahee, Hiroko, KY unni and I, we had 16 bottles of soju/maehwasu. Each are between 15 and 20% alcohol and they give you killer headaches when you have too much. Considering there was only 1 guy and that KY unni barely drank, that left a loooot of alcohol for the 4 of us remaining. Anyways we all kind of passed out when we got home... (Apparently the waiter still remembers us, he had never seen girls drinking so much). And the next day, we went, totally hungover, to climb a mountain. Wow. We were so gone. My head hurt for the whole day and I was unable to drink anything or even to think of anything that had alcohol for another week.
I'm not trying to show off my nights of endless drinking I had in "my youth"... I am just thinking that it's crazy that there was a time when I'd do that without thinking of anything.. no consequences, no nothing. And since he reminded me that story, I guess he was somewhat expecting me to be the same Keumyeo as I was back then. I guess he must have been shocked to see me drink so little... (Well, it's not like I never drink/get drunk anymore... but I think I've become conscious enough to try not to find myself in very embarassing situations...) Well on top of that, one of my good girl friends was totally gone and this guy was all over her, so I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure she'd get home to her boyfriend before that dude took advantage of her drunkenness...? Ah, I'm not sure where I am going with all this... I guess I'm just trying to say I don't enjoy drinking and getting drunk as I did once. Not a real Korean anymore I guess. lol
Keumerz @ 11:04 AM<
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Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I spent the week on this stupid presentation just to screw it up in front of the class. Wow. Good job. On top of that, the Korean guy who went after me talked about the same subject and he did better... What a way to feel and look stupid. That teacher hates me, and I hate her. I can feel the mutual hatred. She found every way to make me look dumb in front of the class today by interrupting here and there just because she misunderstood my argument and disapproved it, when clearly, I had said nothing to offend her and I had the SAME conclusion that she had... so clearly if she had listened to me just a bit longer, she would've understood that I was getting to a point and not disrespecting the Korean language. Damn. I am starting to hate the language just because of her. That's just wrong. Once I'm done with McGill, I'll thankfully never have to deal with her again and I'm sure I'll start loving studying Korean again.
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What else happened today? Oh so S wanted coffee but she had a class... So I thought I'd surprise her and bring coffee. But since I wasn't sure where she's gonna between the 45 min min after her class and before her work time, I decided to send her a text telling her to meet me at that place close to where she works. Then I bought coffee and waited.... But I guess there was a communication problem due to a cell phone battery that died because I ended up waiting outside like an idiot for 40 minutes. I was looking at the 2 cups of coffee and wondering if she was ever gonna show up... Then starting to despair, since the coffee was getting cold... It was quite cold outside, my body was starting to shiver too... Then, she finally showed up (and not because I had called her but because she had to work) and she gave me that totally shocked expression and said "Coffee? Two cups? One for me????.................." To which, completely frozen and dying in the cold of the wind, and somewhat heartbroken that my initiative just proved to be useless, I sadly replied: "It's been sitting here for a while and so I guess it's cold... I don't think you'll still want it." Then I was gonna walk away since she had to work, but then she gave me this warm smile and said: "Hey, I like coffee when it's not too hot, give me one!"
That despair within me suddenly vanished... I think I'm way too simple...
To end on a happy note, I bought a nice birthday gift for my sister. I think she really liked it... I was away last year and most years I usually get stuff by sharing with my brother... This time, it's a gift all from me and so I was kind of excited to give it to her... I think that the person who said that gifts are for the pleasure of the giver more than the receiver was maybe right. Anyways it's a Swatch with a very nice design. Flowery but not cheesy. Modern but not too much. Fashionable but not flashy. Exactly what she likes. Well, I hope.
Then we had dinner at my place. My Korean "auntie"
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Keumerz @ 6:23 PM<
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Monday, November 23, 2009
She's coming... My Prof, 지쌤, is coming to Canada. During the summer... for a year to learn English?? Well, technically I'm leaving to Paris in October... but still! I'll get to see her during the summer and until I go to France??? I am SO ecstatic right now.... like ridiculously ecstatic~!! But the more I get to know her, the more impressed I am...
KY: So how come you've decided to come and learn English?
JHS: Well, I always wanted to learn it but never had a chance to go abroad... Plus, as a person teaching Korean to foreigners, I think it's important for me to understand what the students feel when they go abroad to learn a foreign language. If I get to understand that, I'll be a better teacher for them as well, don't you think?
KY: Of course. Wow... as I thought, you're a very dedicated teacher....
JHS: Haha, nah... but if I'm going to teach Korean for another while, I thought it might be a good idea to know English... it might help me with the students too. And plus, it's kind of a complex for me not to be able to speak it.
KY: A complex? why?
JHS: How can I not be complexed when YOU speak so many languages!!!! lol No, but seriously in Korea, English has become so important that it's better to know it. I'm not expecting to know it very well after only a year, but I really want to try my best.
That mind. That's what I'm talking about. A Real Prof, in the sense that her determination is partly driven by the love for her work and the concern for her students. She's definitely someone I'll always look up to not only as a prof but as a person as well. Not like that cereal box teacher we have at McGill. If she has half her determination put into her English studying, there's no doubt that she'll be so good at speaking it in a matter of time.
Oh but the funny thing is, we talked about places to study. Vancouver and Toronto were out of the question for her since there are so many Koreans there... and we ended up talking about................ Ottawa. lol...
KY: Ottawa is... very English and the university there is okay... but it's SO boring.
JHS: Aww, it can't be that bad.
KY: Think of the most boring you've ever been...
JHS: ??? Yes... and?
KY: Now multiply that by a 100 and you've got Ottawa. People there sleep at 7!
JHS: Puhahahahah. That's perfect for the first few months then.
KY: Huh??? Are you serious?
JHS: I told you, I'm going there to study. If it's a boring place, I'll have nothing better to do. I'm not gonna waste my time hanging out like those students you know about in Korea who only drink and don't study at all.
KY: But what if you get bored anyway? I'm even gonna be in France!
JHS: Well as I said, I'll stay there just a few months... I'll get my English going, then move to a more pleasant place like Montreal.
I don't know if I need to go to Korea this summer anymore... Well not as long, anyway. My main goal was to see her after all. I guess I can shorten my trip a bit and just drop by Jeju-do with 핫티슈. Woah. I'm so excited....
Keumerz @ 10:25 AM<
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Friday, November 20, 2009
Stressed. Like really stressed. Not just for econ, but mostly for next week's Korean presentation... I'm so stressed, I am having nightmares about it. Angry ones. Not good.
"I guess the mere thought of having a presentation in front of a bunch of Koreans and that asshole of a prof terrifies me. I think I can do well in most situations, but I really feel they have a piece of me. Like, I wanna prove them so hard that I can do well that I get more nervous and end up making a mess of things. It's funny how the feelings I have towards a prof can totally affect my performance in their class. If it was in front of "my prof" in Korea, I'd be very confident and I'd be able to try my best to show her how much I've learnt thanks to her.... And now here I am, in front of this other prof whom I despise, unable to utter a word and unable to shut her up by showing off my skills. She hasn't taught me a thing since I've come back and if there's one effect she had on me, it's to have shattered that confidence which took me so long to build in Korea. I know I'm the only loser in the story since she doesn't give a damn... yet I can't seem to elevate myself above this. I wished I could break her, but those dark feelings of hatred and disgust she inspires me only break my own self." tte
So I was thinking that, and nearly bursting out again, lifeless and confidence-less... Then, 핫티슈 held me close (for quite a long time)... and it didn't seem so bad anymore. I felt reassured... and somewhat warm? That warmth I felt reminded me of all the good things and all the good people that are in my life right now... close or far. Long known or recently known... And then I felt like I could lift myself up again, fight this fear of mine and do well on that presentation. Even if tomorrow I might be despairing again, I feel like today that one instant of courage should be enough to survive this ordeal.
It's funny how there are so many people who are having so much worse situations than I and they're going through much worse ordeals and all I do is complain about that bitch of a prof... Wow. How low did she bring me down...
Keumerz @ 7:20 PM<
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Montreal is full of linguists. Here I am in the East Asian Studies building on campus listening to an Italian, a French and a Canadian having a full dialog in Chinese with their Chinese tutor. I gotta admit I was a bit thrown off. I mean, try to picture all those white kids speaking an Asian language fluently. It looks pretty amazing. I think I mentioned that before, but I feel it's a bigger advantage to have a talent in languages when you're white than when you're Asian. For example, if you're White and you go to an Asian country, you're not necessarily expected to speak the Asian language well because you're White... but then if you do speak it well, it's quite amazing. If you're an Asian going to the West, you'll be expecting to know at least English (because it's the "Universal language") and if you don't, you'll be criticized for not knowing it well. In the case of Quebec, you'll be even criticized if you don't speak French. So I, even being Asian looking, in a society like Quebec, I am expected to speak both French and English at least at the level of communication... but I doubt I'll ever get praised for it. It'll go under the "of course that's the way it should be" category of accomplishments. Then I go back to Korea, and not knowing Korean perfectly, I'll be pointed at for having a strange accent and a lack of vocab... until I explain my situation, then I'll get all the teary and undesirable pity of the adoptee followed by the envy of those who want to learn English... I mean eventually I'll be recognized for my efforts, but the process seems to be so much more tiring than if I had a white face to complete my Westernized attitude/education.
Now, what would be interesting to see and compare with me... would be a White person in my situation... like the guy in Swallowtail Butterfly. A Caucasian that speaks an Asian language perfectly but who doesn't speak English nor any Western language... And who would go back to Europe or something and have an Asian accent when he tries to learn the language... Wouldn't that be fascinating?? I yet have to find such a case. I guess that's why I liked the movie SB.
I sometimes get envious of people who are born with (or had the early age opportunity of learning) several languages... But I am also fascinated by and dragged to them. I think I was lucky to be born with at least some ability to learn languages quickly... or else learning languages so late in such a short time would've been impossible... Even though, I am starting to realize I started with a serious disadvantage and might never be able to master any of them the way I wished to. It's okay though, I'm also starting to be less greedy as time goes by. Right now, I just want to reach a level of Korean I can use at work... but it seems like that level is further than I thought?... Ganbarimashou...
Keumerz @ 12:45 PM<
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Thursday, November 19, 2009
Spent the afternoon with M(A)* after class... who impressively, after eating dinner (including dessert la), went back for more chicken and fries. I don't know where she puts it, it's ridiculous. It was a very enjoyable time tho. Good talks and insights + Productive studying time (except for that ridiculous nap I took). So many things to be thankful for la. 오늘 정말 고마웠어... 너랑 같이 있을때 정말 편하게 be myself 있을 수 있는 느낌. 우리 성격이 좀 비슷해서 그런가? ㅋ 암튼 우리 요즘 친해져서 정말 기쁘다... And it's nice we can talk openly about so many things... Today's talk kinda stayed in my mind la...
Hypocrisy is a skill, they say. Pretending that you're something. The best hypocrites/liars are in fact the ones who are able to even convince themselves that their lies are true. There's however nothing more hurtful than realizing that someone you thought you knew revealed to be the total opposite of whatever you thought they were. I mean, not in the sense that you would find out something new about them, but rather when you realize that all along they played you in a way that would lead you to trust them and in the end your relationship was based on a web of lies. Or perhaps you were just so complacent about the beauty of the relationship that you would refuse to see the truth as it is... Anyways. Not to be negative, but I really can't stand hypocrites...
Another way to look at this would be that it's quite funny how you knew certain people before and had such a good opinion of them and after months or years, something makes your vision of them change. Then you realize that as much as people change, there might just be the fact that some rotten part you're starting to see in them now, was always there but you were just too blinded by some sort of love to take a real look at it. Or it might just be that one disappointment is difficult to get over... But anyways, on a more positive note, there is the opposite situation where you had no special opinion about someone but the more you get to know them, the more you appreciate their presence and the things you find out about them. As frustrating as the first feeling is, the second one is gratifying...
오늘 핫티슈가 아팠대.... 괜춘한가?
아프지마... 아프면 나두 아프잖아......
Got a message yesterday from senpai who seems to be reading this blog very carefully! lol Thanks so much for always dropping by... And thanks for your kindness... it was so sweet.
Yeah, so I got to think about a lot because I always think of so many things... And as much as I find it hard sometimes to understand people and as much as I sometimes suffer from interaction with people..... I also realize that my life is so lucky for having so many miraculous meetings and pleasant time spent with such amazing people.... I guess I am really blessed.. And it may seem like I'm yo-yoing all the time between my frustrations and my joy to be living... but I never forget the fact that all those incredible people by my side are one reason for me to keep trying hard at everything... Wow, I'm feeling very thankful today...
Keumerz @ 12:28 AM<
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Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Did you know reading a book can tell you a lot about the person who recommended it for you? Now that I think about it, I almost always get captivated by books that have some historical context and that discuss the search for the origins of something, or just the main character's identity search/crisis... Maybe it is because I've always been concerned about my own origins and I associate better to the characters/authors? Matière à réflexion.
Met with J for coffee, which was followed by a pool challenge, that I somehow won. Game of 7 (ended 7-6 for me). Terms of the bet? I lose, I try Kendo. I win, I get a free movie and a free pool game! Not that I would've minded trying Kendo so bad, but after dropping by the gym today and seeing all those people hitting each other screaming kiai like there was no tomorrow, I was kind of glad I won. I heard that it doesn't hurt that much, but still... My fragile side (don't laugh) might have a hard time coping with it. I admit I was however fascinated by what I saw and I think I really wanna drop by the gym again to see some more of their training.
Then J and I watched Paranormal Activity. It was filmed in a "realistic" way, meaning they used the same camera principle as they did in the Blairwitch Project. At first I thought it was gonna suck because there was no stressful music to freak you out, but there were indeed some scary moments and the thoughts of weird noise in my appartment makes me shudder... I always hated stuff that could happen at home more than gorey movies. Oh and I hated/loved the end, it was ugggh. One girl in the theater screamed really loud, which made it even worse. Anyways. Not a bad horror movie, but not one that's gonna keep me up not sleeping. Or at least I hope so. Well, I don't need a horror movie to keep me up, McGill does that pretty well.
Overall a very nice evening. ^^
I gotta find that book... La Pierre et le Sabre...
Keumerz @ 12:40 AM<
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Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Wow, my last entry dates back from a week ago. Not that I NEED to write, but anyways, it's good to have a certain constance. I'm just so sleepy though... I'm dying to go back to bed, but instead I'll write this to give me some energy and start studying seriously.
I thought of dropping the damn course, but I decided that I should not give up studying ECON, no matter how much I hate it. Even if I spent half the time I'm spending hanging out onto this course, I'm sure that'd be enough to pass it with flying colours. Come on, KY. You can do this. The Winter course would be SO MUCH worse, so don't give up.
I get way over the edge in my love for people... but there's seems to be at least a few people who are conscious of it and who seem to be willing to give me back this great love I've been trying to give out. Not always easy, especially to cope with the kind of person that I am, but I am feeling so thankful towards them. Now that I know the way they feel about this, I feel like I can really focus on the other important aspects of my life... (This time being school and grad school application, OMG...)
Love is such a hard thing to find and having a clicking moment with a guy is also so difficult. I am somewhat envious of the friends of mine who found real durable love. It makes me wonder if I'll be able to find such a thing. Maybe it really is just a matter of time.
I am kind of whiny, these days. It must be because the days are getting colder and colder.
Keumerz @ 8:29 AM<
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Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I got attacked by a squirrel. Like, literally. Whoever said squirrels are cute is TOTALLY wrong and obviously has never seen those rats with a fluffy tail as close as I have. Well, it's kind of Das' fault since she tried to feed one of them. You try once, they follow you for ever. And they're not scared of people. Then they look at you with a ferocious and hungry look. Beh. I hate squirrels. As much as I hate pigeons.
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I woke up with a headache at Hot Tissue's place. I don't know what went through my mind last night but I got drunk and ended up crashing her place again. Don't quite remember what we talked about, but I do remember holding on very firmly to her hand until I fell asleep. Woke up 15 minutes before my class (thank god she lives on campus) to realize I had a test and hadn't studied for it. Wow. Good job. I didn't do so well, I don't think... and on top of that, having not been to Italian class in a while, I was totally confused and the teacher seemed to be totally disapproving of my state. *Sigh*. I need to kick my own ass and get back on track ASAP. Surprisingly, Japanese is going well though. Econ is a disaster, but I am currently in the process of fixing things.
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Today is Pepero day. Also 지쌤's wedding anniversary, which I would obviously not forget to celebrate. I remember giving her earrings last year at this precise date, when we went for lunch. Then we had coffee... then we took a walk on campus... Everyone thought it was weird that I'd remember such a thing as her anniversary with her husband, but anyways. I just think little things, like such thoughts, are steps for a good continuation of a relationship. That's just me though.
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I went to Atti again today. Waited one hour for food to come. Seriously, I was pretty upset and especially since I had to rush to class. But the manager was cool and gave us free ice cream as an apology. Korean style. Funny how such bribery can totally keep the love of the customers. Anyways, it was good.
Keumerz @ 10:30 PM<
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Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Efforts.
I really have to start putting more efforts in what I do, whether it's studying or whatever else. I am in this phase when I don't feel like doing anything. I know I have to work harder at languages, especially Korean but I don't have the energy/motivation for it. I wanna blame it on that prof in McGill again, since I lose all bits of strenght when she's around... but I should blame it on myself and really start working hard so that this doesn't repeatedly happen. I shouldn't need someone to push me, I should be able to push myself. I guess circumstances will always be different from when I was in Seoul, so I might as well just suck it up. The only one losing anything in this story is myself.
Keumerz @ 10:30 AM<
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Monday, November 9, 2009
Yesterday between 10:00 PM and 1:00 A.M.
I was dying to sleep earlier cuz I was so frustrated about so many things. I was in such a bad mood... Then I heard 핫티슈양's voice and as she sang and told me hilarious stories, all that anger and sadness within me vanished. Magical effect that some people can have on another person eh... Then I felt a bit guilty for not being able to say thank you properly... and I felt bad from keeping her from the studying she had to do for the next day... 2 hours and 12 minutes convo. That was supposed to be no more than 10 min.... I apologize for being selfish again. Good thing is, I can feel this gloomy phase ending, so no worries, I'll make it up to her. Promise.
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I realized that I've been hard on my parents and most likely hurt them while they were here. No matter how much I try to make things okay, I always seem to make things worse. It's not that I don't love them nor that I cannot express myself, but I find myself in a very difficult position when it comes to expressing feelings honestly. It comes out wrong. I guess my dad and I are very similar in that way. He has a hard time expressing himself too and more often than not, he'll turn his compliments into a major insult with a happy ending? But most of the time we don't listen till the end so we never hear the nice part. lol. Anyways I love my Dad as he is, but I wished I could communicate a bit more easily with him and my Mom. There are so many things I'd wish for them to understand and there are so many things I'd want to show them but I just never seem to find the right timing/words to do so.
The answers will come in time I guess.
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This morning. 7:00 A.M.
지쌤 finally contacted me. It's funny how I always get worried and somehow I was right to do so. I could feel something wasn't right. She's not happy and she's having a hard time. And as usual, instead of letting me onto things, she just cuts me off and thinks it's better to not ask me for support. I guess you can once again blame this on the age hierarchy of Korea... but at those times I realize how non-Korean I am and how much I wanna support her, lift her up above and make sure she's (if not happy) not unhappy. And the worst things about all this is that I know whenever she talks to me, she feels better, but it's like she's not allowing herself to let herself be cheered up by me. Like depending on me is somewhat wrong because of the age difference? Nonsense. If you're having a hard time, just say it. Don't wait for me to get sleepless out of worrying for you. You know I'll always be there to support you no matter what.
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I am feeling a bit envious of those who have a lover to spend those cold days in Montreal. Though I have a very comfortable lifestyle and very good friends to rely on, I sometimes wished I could find that spark that would make my life seem like it has a different purpose. I can work for school and I can do my best for my friends... but in the end, if I could fall in love, I know I could give my best for this one person and that would be a totally different feeling. I think. I guess I'm not in a hurry, it's just a wish, but still. I miss that warmth.
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I don't understand that dude. Was it just my misunderstanding, as he said? Could I really have overreacted and overdramatized the whole situation?... I feel like a Yoyo again.
Keumerz @ 12:06 AM<
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Thursday, November 5, 2009
I suck at Econ. I really do and I just proved it again with that midterm. Wow, bombed it.
Well at least, I vented all my frustrations at karaoke and pool yesterday in company of 핫티슈양. ㅋ Now that's one person that could probably just step on me all over and I would probably not realize it just because I'm feeling so comfortable when we're together. It's better to be careful but then I don't feel like I need to.
Anyways for that midterm, it counted for 30 % and I still somewhat passed... So now the solution is to bring my act together and work hard till the end of the semester so that I don't bomb the final. Wake up, KY, you can do it. It's a matter of believing in it and go to class.
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I love my family and I am glad I'm seeing them today... but sometimes they can be so frustrating... I have plans that I made a while ago for next week and I've been looking forward to it for a some time now... and they announce me they might just ruin them all by showing up randomly? Thanks for the early notice. You always lecture me about warning in advance and what not and you don't even have the class of telling me this before... Wow, I'm pissed now. It might not last too long, but anyways. Gotta find a way to convince them to come on another day...
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I can't help but feeling worried about 지쌤. Hasn't contacted me in so long... I guess I'm just so used to the regular contacting I've received so far... And now that I don't get it, I'm getting worried?... There's nothing to be worried about, I know... But still, I can't help feeling my heart hurt over this... The awesomeness of being too attached to someone and fearing to lose them. I know continuing my own life is what I have to do... but with the recent events in my life now I feel I could use her guidance...
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Speaking of which, I suddenly realized my low tolerance of people's lack of activity in their life. I can honestly not stand people who randomly add you on facebook, mixi, cyworld, etc. when they don't even know you. Reading about people you don't know, meeting people online, how more desperate can you be? I wanna tell those people "By all means go do something more productive". Friends of friends whatever... Online friendship is really BS and for me to add anyone or to consider adding someone I'd first need to know who they are and what they look like. I made the mistake of accepting random people on FB before but what a mistake. Like seriously, get a life people. If you're not part of mine already then butt out.
Keumerz @ 12:16 PM<
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Tuesday, November 3, 2009
누구 덕분에 요새 잠을 잘 잔다. 핫티슈양 고마워.
Tteiuka. I don't just sleep longer but I really do sleep sound and well. I wake up fresh and somewhat happy despite all the stuff happening... All thanks to you. Even though our relationship may seem weird to others and even though it's been going at an accelerated pace in a very intense kind of way... me like it la. I'm comfortable. Recently has been hard on me, so just let me depend on you just a little longer. After that, I'll go full shape again and take care of you. I'm just kind of weak these days and your presence reassures me. Can anyone blame me for that?
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근데 우리 쌤은 왜 전화 안 받으시지... 바쁘시겠네. I know I shouldn't be worried about this because there was times when she was so busy and couldn't really be there but always came back at some point. I think I can only wait and see...
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I envy Americans in Korea. I mean, American-looking Americans or just foreigner looking people. Like if they can't speak Korean or they can speak just a few sentences, they'll have all those people over them saying "oh you speak so well!! omg! amazing (tears of joy)"... then if someone like me with a somewhat Korean face goes and speaks even at the level I'm speaking it now, then they wonder "How come that kid can't speak???? is she a second generation? or maybe a Chinese". It's kinda frustrating in terms of first impression... and even as we get closer it's frustrating. Once they know my situation, half of the Koreans feel pity and they're sorry they quickly judged my language abilities... Then they switch their discourse completely "Oh but you speak so well (considering you learnt from scratch)". Suddenly they play the foreigner card with me. Deep inside they're still thinking I am not so great though.... Sounds pessimistic and I'm sure there are people who tell me genuinely that my Korean is good (especially if they can compare it to what it was before, omg)... but I guess that's where my complex originated.
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Keumerz @ 8:57 AM<
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